She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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