If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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