We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
