i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
