dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm sobbing to NWA
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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