his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
