party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
