you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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