she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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