Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize