You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
