Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
