He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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