i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
