Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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