I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
