You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
