There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
