Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
