Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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