I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
