That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
