Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
