no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
