I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I am one with the molecules
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
