There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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