Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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