I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
