i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is exhausting
she pinky promised me she was 18
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize