I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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