I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
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