would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize