In the future we'll all be gay
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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