I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm passing your future prison.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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