dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
