Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
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Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
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I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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