Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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