clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
