how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
