if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
