dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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