I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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