Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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