You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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