She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize