o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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