There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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