I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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