wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
