your parents love me but you hate me
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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