remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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