we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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