i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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