you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
why didn't you poke me back
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
