yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
