Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
