I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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