Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I've blown a few things in my day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
