I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
