I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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