she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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